The power to say "No", to set boundaries between you and the other world!

This means respect and confidence and prevents burnout. How could you achieve this?

I was a walking, talking "Yes" for years. Do you need assistance? Indeed! An additional project? Indeed! Go to that meeting late at night? Indeed! With engagements I hardly had the energy for, my schedule was a mess of chaos. The outcome? Exhaustion. Complete and absolute bodily and emotional exhaustion. Things didn't start to change until I realized how powerful the simple yet liberating word "No" is.

Being able to say "No" does not imply being egotistical or disobedient. It all comes down to prioritizing your well-being, acknowledging your boundaries, and honoring your time and energy. It's an essential ability that increases your self-esteem, protects your limits, and significantly lowers your risk of burnout. However, it was unsettling to someone like me who had been answering "Yes" almost instinctively for years.

Where do you even start? It's a process, not a button that you can press overnight. Here's what I found worked for me:

1. Determine Your Values and Priorities: Before you can effectively say "No," you need to know what's most important to you. What are your priorities? What brings you joy? What things drain the life from you? Having a clear picture of your priorities makes it simpler to know what requests align with your values and which don't. For me, prioritizing my family and my health meant saying "No" to projects that conflicted with quality family time or left me burned out.

2. Practice the Art of the Polite Refusal: Saying "No" doesn't need to be confrontational. It's enough to say, "Thank you for considering me, but I'm not in a situation to accept anything new at the moment." You don't need to go further than that. If you feel you need to, you can offer an alternative, such as suggesting someone else who would be better for the task. The idea is to be clear, yet polite.

3. Learn to Identify the "Yes" Trap: We typically say "Yes" out of obligation, fear of disappointing others or a wish to be liked. All of these are people-pleasing habits that will lead to irritation and burnout. Being aware of these underlying reasons will enable you to avoid the "Yes" trap and regain control.

4. Start Small: Don't try to overhaul your entire life overnight. Begin by saying "No" to small things—that extra coffee run, that extra meeting invite, that extra favor. Each "No" will build your confidence and make it easier to say "No" to larger requests.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Say "No": This is perhaps the most important step. You deserve to prioritize your well-being. You deserve to protect your time and energy. Give yourself permission to say "No" without guilt or shame. It’s a sign of self-respect and self-care, not egocentrism.

6. Listen to Your Intuition: Your body often sends signals when you're overcommitted. Pay attention to feelings of stress, anxiety, or exhaustion. These are your intuition's way of saying "No." Learn to trust these signals and act suitably.

The journey to mastering the art of "No" is in progress. There will be times when you slip up, and that's okay. The important thing is to keep practicing, to keep refining your approach, and to remember the invaluable gift of saying "No" to protect your well-being and cultivate a life of balance and fulfillment. It’s a power worth cultivating, trust me.

FAQs:

Q: What if saying "No" destroys my relationships?

A: Healthy relationships are based on respect and respectfulness. If someone truly cares about your professional or personal relationship, they will respect your right to set boundaries. If a relationship is damaged because you've said "No," then it might be a sign that the relationship is not a healthy relationship.

Q: How can I tell my boss "No"?

A: This is a sensitive situation. Explain politely your current workload and how taking on more work would affect your performance or health. Suggest alternate solutions or reprioritize current work. Be professional and clear.

Q: I admit that I said "No." How can I go past that?

A: The most common cause of regret is the fear of disappointing someone else. Remember that you owe no one your happiness. It's not selfish to look after your own health; it's essential. Respect yourself with compassion and keep in your thoughts that saying "No" helps protect your physical and emotional well-being.

Saying "No" is a path of self-discovery that helps you to take charge of your life and establish boundaries that secure your mental health. Owning the ability to say "No" is essential to becoming a better, happier and more complete version of yourself.